So, I wonder when enough is enough, when those final edits are all that you can do, all that you can muster forward. It's a sort of letting go, a release. I've done that,with one piece Blogging to the Dead and know, in my heart of hearts, that I could not return to that work and revise (unless a super top NY agent/editor wanted me to and I had specific directions...then, of course, I'm all ears).
And this idea of succinct writing, for me, forces me to rethink my ideas (for creative writing anyway) and clop away at what doesn't need to be there.
But, I want to argue my introduction, the idea that the fog lifts on Edgartown just as Sammy is lured away from Leonardo's market. I like to set the scene; I imagine I'm directing a movie, and this is how it opens. But that's not right for a query. So, off it goes. Yet, what we are losing is the setting, the terror of a kidnapping juxtaposed with the environment; iow, the fog lifting should present clarity, focus and thus the scene of poor Sammy Preston getting kidnapped is more vividly felt, presented. I like the environment used as foreshadowing. Some authors do this brilliantly. I'm a wip.
OK, enough of that. So now I have a succinct query and/or product description for my psychological thriller. And it's short enough and includes just enough information to establish a tone (see below) So, what else do we need?
Evil sometimes has an origin; for Dominic Burns, it began at an early age, at the hands of a sadistic father. As a young boy, Dom learned how to abuse women; he grew to know evil like the back of his hand.
But it wasn’t enough to know it; every sinner needs a victim: Dominic Burns practiced first on Lucy, a shy loner from a Baptist family, who he makes his wife; and next on five-year old, Sammy Prescott—the product of a one-night affair six years earlier.
When left unchecked, evil increases and multiplies: Dom’s tyrannical torment of both Lucy and Sam continues for years, unimpeded.
Perhaps it is a necessary truth that evil must exist so the purity of good can rise above it. Such is the case when Dom’s victims desert him and Dom, enraged, belches out one last breath of fury that consumes him. But not before taking one more victim.